Faux Goody Two Shoes

From the Archives: Dear Married Guy @ My Job

2012-01-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

Maybe it was always in draft form, maybe I thought it was mean and took it down. Either way, it's still relevant, so...

Dear Married Guy at My Job,

I got your message you left in my inbox that you think I'm pretty. While my first thought is to say "join the club," I am more inclined to suggest that you give that compliment to your wife instead. I'm sure she would appreciate it much more than I ever could.

Please stop complimenting me on how nice I look in my dresses. You are making me uncomfortable. Besides, I have put on a few pounds and can't very well come in wearing tight assed dress pants. That would be even more revealing. What else can I do? Stop looking at me!

Random conversation outside my door? No thanks. Please don't come visit my room unless you are escorting one of your students that needs counseling. Speaking of which, where is your class while you are making random conversation with me? In detention you say? FAIL.

By the way, I got your email inviting me to watch the Bears game at your place. I also noticed that I was the only woman you asked to come. As interesting as sitting around with your guy friends watching the game while your wife is working sounds (just as friends of course-ha!), I'm going to have to pass on this and every other personal invitation that you give me. Not to mention, me and a bunch of dudes just sounds rapey. I have to say that I'm not really a fan of gangbangs. Perhaps I'll just watch the game at home.

Oh, and no thanks. I don't want to go out for a drink after work or on our day off. What else do I have going on, you ask? Not getting stabbed or having my windows busted out by a woman scorned, that's what!

Thanks for your understanding.

Sincerely,
b.

Inspired by B. Jean

2012-01-26T08:00:00.004-06:00

I want this mixer! Feel free to send donations because it's pricey!!

I'm in love. With baking.

I baked a lot with my mom as a little girl. When I became a teenager (therefore not wanting to spend any time with my mom, lest I lose my coolness), I stopped spending time with her in the kitchen. So it's been about 15 years or so since I've really baked on a regular basis.
Over my winter break, I decided to bake a cheesecake. Then a pie, then cupcakes, then another pie. Something about it makes me so happy inside. Even though I'm at home, alone in my kitchen, I guess I enjoy it because it makes me feel close to my mother again in some way. And that alone makes me want to bake more :)

29 to 30

2012-01-25T20:09:00.000-06:00

When I was 29, the evening before my birthday, I cried. A LOT. Earlier that day, I whined. Even more. Not to mention, I was a real b*tch to a couple of people (who deserved it but wouldn't have gotten that much attention on any other day, but I was in a funk and read them the riot act). Twice.

For that I am sorry. But honestly, I was scared.

Turning 30 was a huge milestone for me. My parents and sisters made a big deal about it, probably because I'm their baby and am all grown up- for real for real. My friends made a big deal about it, probably because they love me and were excited for my birthday even when I pretended it was nothing. Even my sortof made a big deal about it, and I had a few surprises from him the entire weekend.

But me? I was scared. I didn't want to make a big deal about it. I wanted to wallow in self pity that I hadn't done all the things I thought I would have done by 30. I wanted to be a brat.

I appreciate that no one let me stay in my funk. That the night before my birthday, I received more love than I ever could have imagined. That my best friends inspired me, and showed me how I inspire others. Most importantly, that I should be proud of what I have gained thus far, and that they would accept nothing less than me appreciating every day of my life.

So when I woke up at 30, I felt confident. I felt fab. I felt ready. And here we go.

Hiatus

2012-01-22T19:49:00.000-06:00

I can't right now. I haven't been able to for about 6 weeks. I'll be back. Maybe.

Bikram Yoga

2011-12-24T13:14:00.000-06:00

I did it. And I have to do it at least 19 more times!

I bought an online coupon for 20 classes for $40, and figured that I couldn't do much better than that.

When I tell you that it was the most exhilarating, yet most excruciatingly painful workout I have ever done, I am not kidding. My body is so sore a day later. I hurt in places I didn't know I had. But I have to admit, I'm a little geeked to see how much more I can push myself.

430 miles

2011-12-24T12:57:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you have to go the distance to see that all that glitters is not gold.

It feels so good...

2011-11-19T09:02:00.000-06:00

-To let go of the past.

I will be the first to admit that the baggage (albeit just one bag, but bag nonetheless) I've been carrying around for nearly 8 years is finally gone. It wasn't because anyone forced me to, or because it got too heavy.
Simply put: I set it down calmly and walked away.
I don't know what my future holds. I know I will have days where I think about that bag and wonder whatever happened to it. Is it lost on a greyhound? Did someone else pick it up and realize what a great bag it is? Did my old bag decide to treat it's next owner better than it treated me?
Eh, not my problem anymore. I'm glad to be done with the what-ifs. I know what I won't be thinking. That I wish I still had that damn bag.
And I'm glad that ~~if I ever~~ when I meet someone new, my mind won't be filled with useless weight.

Things I Don't Like: October

2011-10-29T09:00:00.003-05:00

Scary Movies- I don't care that it's Halloween. I don't care that you can totally tell how fake it looks. I don't want to watch, I am afraid of ghosts, I don't play bloody mary or any of that crap, I am afraid of the dark, and I am perfectly okay with admitting every one of those facts. I also don't like company sleeping on my couch, and that's exactly what I will make you do for no less than three days if I have to watch something remotely questionable.
Steve Harvey-standup, show, suits. Especially suits. No, especially the 34 year old man that asked me for my number while wearing one of his suits.
Peas- Tried them again for the first time in over 20 years. A bunch of mini explosions in my mouth? No thank you.
People who don't want me to drive the speed limit- I JUST got my car back after a wreck that kept her gone for 5 weeks. Go around!

Future Plans

2011-10-28T20:45:00.000-05:00

To Do List: When I'm 30 (Less than 3 months to go!!!)

Take swimming lessons
Run a 10k
Go to Rome
Read everyday
Spend more time with parents
Maintain the 4.0
Stop using credit cards completely (except for emergency like a flat tire or something)
Ab work. Seriously. I'm talking Ms. J 500 crunches/day ab work. Gotta lose the pudge.
BE HAPPY

BUSY

2011-09-22T23:31:00.000-05:00

I have been so boggled down these days with working full time, going to school, and training for this 5k that I actually forgot about this blog!
I haven't read any of my friend's blogs, I have barely watched the news, I don't remember most of my logins, and I haven't read a book in two months.
Let's not even get on the fact that I can barely keep up with my reality tv fix.
AND- I haven't made drinks at my house with cousin in over a month (compared to usually twice a week)!
And of course, I know people don't really even read my blog, but it's something I like to do for me, so it still matters.

What to do when you feel too busy to make time for yourself? Any suggestions?

Countdown to Vacation

2011-08-22T08:30:00.005-05:00

Okay, so I'm not leaving until January 2nd. Bur everyone knows that I heart a winter vacay in the sun. It gives me a moment away from the cold, and motivation to keep working out after my 5k in October. Mexico here I come (in 4.5 months!!!!)

decisions, decisions

2011-08-21T20:15:00.000-05:00

Decision making never gets easy, especially when you care for others. Of course, it's easier to say that you make decisions based on what is best for you... but honestly, it's sort of hard to do. I struggle with doing things that I know will disappoint others. Especially my mom.

In the past, I have dated someone that my parents loved, but I only liked. I neglected to move away years ago because I didn't want to hurt someone. And I didn't choose the career that I initially wanted- although here I am 10 years later starting over...

It's been quite some time now that I have been able to do what's best for me. But I still feel sort of guilty. I'm not sure how to deal with those feelings. Does this happen to you? How do you deal?

~b.

Morning Coffee

2011-08-09T14:38:00.000-05:00

Today is my co-worker's birthday, so I decided to surprise her with her favorite drink from Starbuckys, and banana bread. Easy enough.
Well, on the way out, I hear a woman say, "Excuse me." I turn around to see a semi-well dressed in business casual, woman in her 50's, wearing makeup, sitting in a folding chair with a purse in her lap, right next to the entrance.
Me: Yes?
Lady: Can you buy me a cup of coffee?
Me (sounding surprised): What??!
Lady: Yeah. I'm not homeless or anything.

At this point, I had to just laugh and walk away. For starters, if you were homeless, a venti nonfat iced vanilla latte should in no way, shape or form be on your hierarchy of needs. But, since you just told me that you aren't homeless, I'm wondering why, when you got up to press your pants and put on makeup just to bring your folding chair to Starbucky's- you didn't just start your coffee pot and brew something at home. Just a thought.

~b

Fake

2011-07-28T22:10:00.000-05:00

I know I probably shouldn't say this, but-

I wish that folks that are no longer friends would stop pretending they are my friends. I'm not talking about people that I may not see because we are busy and just living life. I mean, folks that are totally wrapped in themselves, don't contact you unless they need something, know absolutely nothing about you or your life, probably don't care, and somehow end up asking you the same general stuff over and over when they decide show up. The worst part about it is- they try to act like you are still BFFs. Nope!

It's annoying. Let's just call it what it is: we used to be friends. We aren't anymore, and that's perfectly okay. It's the pretending that makes you seem fake.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

I'm on a roll

2011-07-17T15:26:00.000-05:00

Super excited.
So not only have I worked out everyday since July 13th (this is BIG for me), but I got my butt outside and jogged a mile. I haven't done that in years.
I'm looking forward to pushing myself harder each day.

Also, if you want to workout with me, let me know. I love being held accountable...

July 13th

2011-07-14T00:09:00.000-05:00

Today was a good day.
I woke up and talked to one of my besties on the phone about, well, nothing important. I read someone the riot act. I made myself breakfast. I practiced tweezing my own eyebrows, and gave myself a manicure. I treated myself to Starbucks; the skinny was not good, but that's ok. I went to class, did a lab, came home. Bought myself a cute new pair of runners, since I'm working out and damn near murdered my feet doing that 5k in cute gymshoes. I talked to a good friend for about an hour on the phone, and my mom for another hour. I DID A MAJOR PILATES WORKOUT and lived to tell the tale. Then I watched Big Love Season 4, typed a complete chemistry report, and ate the best yogurt mixed with granola ever.
I stand corrected. Today wasn't good. It was great.

PS. My oldest nephew turned 10 today. Happy double digits, Scoop!

PSA

2011-07-09T01:20:00.000-05:00

Don't blog when you are mad/irritated/annoyed at someone. Otherwise you will write something really ignorant...

Which is what I am trying not to do right now...

Stop, Thief!

2011-06-24T13:13:00.001-05:00

I am not a thief. I have never stolen anything in my life, not even a candy bar from the store.

Well, I did help take a certain teacher's annoying bird wall clock senior year in high school and hid it in my station wagon---

Anyway, that isn't the point. The point is that I am not a thief. So I can't understand for the life of me why people are always taking my stuff!

1985- Someone steals my Strawberry Shortcake big wheel when I go in the house to eat a PBJ. My mother was not pleased.

1986- Someone stole my dog. My father saw her on someone's porch and took her back. But that doesn't change the fact that she was stolen.

2005- Someone jimmies my car door and takes my radio. BTW, thanks for ejecting my jazzyphatnastees CD. I guess you don't appreciate good music when you steal it.

2010- Someone came into the building's bike room and stole my bike seat. And bike post (which isn't cheap). And back reflector. And one of the tire air covers. Not two. One.

2011- Someone takes the covers off the front of my car that take the place of where optional fog lights should be. WHY would someone do such a thing?

I am so sick of people taking things of mine. It's super annoying and I want it to stop.
Does this happen to you?

~b.

Elevator Etiquette 101

2011-06-20T19:25:00.001-05:00

A recent trip with cousin ending in an awkward ride to the car inspired me to write this post:
(And yes, I have experienced every single one of these things personally in my lifetime)

Elevator Etiquette 101

1. When in a crowded elevator that suddenly becomes empty, spread out. Do you know I've had a person stand directly in front of me in the corner while there are 3 of us left- on TWO separate occasions? Who does that? Oh, they do.

2. When getting on a crowded elevator, turn around and face the door. There is nothing more awkward than me staring up your nose.

3. DO NOT PASS GAS IN ELEVATORS. Not even when you are alone. It lingers, and makes me despise you.

4. Ix-Nay on the Sex Talk. My sisi and I were leaving a downtown restaurant when a drunk girl not-so-softly told her man "I can't wait till we get home so you can f--- me in the a--."
Uh-huh. Exactly. Even he looked mortified.

5. Don't Argue with your significant other. Actually, just don't talk. I don't want to hear your domestic, shall I say, stuff. Can't you wait till you get to your unit? Thanks.

Did I miss anything?
~b

Running makes me...

2011-06-04T12:48:00.000-05:00

This morning I ran my first 5k. I hurt all over, but I feel so good.
Running makes me proud.
Running makes me confident.
Running makes me, me.
I want to do it again :)

Protecting Your Furniture

2011-05-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

K: Where can I buy plastic covers for this couch?

Me: At the old people's store.

I guess you had to be there...

Quote of the Month

2011-05-15T14:42:00.000-05:00

"Change is the essence of life. Be willing to change what you are for what you could become."

Just for me

2011-04-24T12:19:00.000-05:00

Lately, to curb my spending, I've made a habit of treating myself to one nice thing every payday. It could be anything; a mani pedi, a new dress, a nice dinner. Whatever makes me feel good on that particular weekend. It's been working pretty well thus far, and I wanted to take it a step further.

I need to do nice things for myself more often; things that don't cost me anything. That's not as hard as it seems, if you think outside the box.

One thing I did for myself was sit down, take a look at all this workout stuff I have (weights, yoga mats, videos), and I created a workout regimen. I've been going strong for over a week now- that's big for me considering I work out on average 3 times a year. My adrenaline is pumping, I have more energy, and I'll be toned for ...summer?

I also recreated my budget on mint dot com. I've used the service for a couple of years now, but it wasn't doing what I needed it to do, in terms of a realistic payment plan for my big bills. But since then, I have been able to pay more on my student loans (argh- a seemingly never ending process), and it doesn't really affect my bank account like I though it would, seeing as how I'm not spending as much anyway.

Lastly, I have been reorganizing and making changes to my apartment. When my apartment looks good, I feel so much better. I have all these pictures that need hanging, and bookshelves that need to be thrown away.... I can turn this into an entirely new place to live. That's exciting for me.

What have you done for you lately?

Break!

2011-04-09T19:08:00.003-05:00

Spring Break!

I have two weeks off.

So, now what do I do?

Actually I am kidding. I have too much to do:
Cleaning (my mother still calls it Clean-Up Week)- windows, carpet, closets, floors and the freezer
Visiting two sisters and my 9 year old nephew in Phoenix (who is a genius btw)
Working on my research paper
Trying NOT to shop
Donating clothes to goodwill
Possibly driving to T-Dot for my nephew's 2nd birthday (because I rock as an Auntie!)
Watching Ugly Betty on Netflix streaming
Reading

These two weeks will be gone before I know it!

Student Loans

2011-04-05T19:49:00.001-05:00

If I could go back in time, I would not have tricked off so much in college.
Does anyone else remember taking advantage of "refund checks," and dropping classes mid semester? It's sad because at 19, you have no concept of what it will mean to pay all that money back. But once you are a grownup with a house, a car, and bills- it gets real. And it sucks!

My student loans are kicking my butt! And I feel like they will for years to come...

Seriously? How old are we?

2011-03-24T20:22:00.001-05:00

When I'm at work, for the most part I keep to myself. I speak to everyone and make small talk, but I really don't have much to say to anyone other than that. Hmm, kind of sounds like real life...
But really, in addition to the fact that I really don't have much in common with anyone, I have just never been interested in having friends at work. I work in an environment where it's mostly women, who are mostly 40+. Many of them are in cliques with each other, and quite a few of them gossip. I can't do it.
Not only do I not care about half the stuff they are talking about, but I know that at any time they could turn it on me. So I stay away.

Which brings me to my work issue: even though I stay out of everyone's business, under the radar, doing my work and going home, these people STILL found a way to wrap me in their drama. Some of the things I've dealt with in the last month:

A rumor that I am dating one of the guys at work.
Comments like, "You must be the youngest in your family because you act spoiled rotten" (WTF?), and "Why don't you want to order from KFC? You dieting for a man or something?"
Tables of people getting completely quiet when I enter the room.
Snickering when I walk by.
Being asked if I date women since I cut all my hair off like a boy. (Really. Really??)

Seriously? How old are we? I feel like I am being bullied at my job. Part of me wants to check them HARD, but the other part of me knows that they will only get a kick out of it and act even more of a fool. Part of me wants to request a transfer, the other part of me won't let these hussies get the best of me. I teach my girls about relational aggression all the time; I never thought I'd be a victim of it at 29.

When I was in 3rd grade, I followed my dad's advice and told a group of girls, "don't let your mouth get you an ass whippin." Too bad I'm not 9 anymore. I'm too old for going toe to toe.
So in the meantime, I go to work everyday, and remember what my mom taught me after I beat the hell out of a girl- and subsequently got in trouble. "What other people think of you is none of your business." That works much better for me now :)

Flash

2011-03-14T16:35:00.000-05:00

A Verbatim Phone Conversation:

Dad: Hey sweetheart, I have this thingy, it lights up when I plug it into the computer. It's a USB on one side and just plastic on the other. What the hell is this?

Me: A USB flash drive. It's a memory stick.

Dad: What do I flash it with?

SMH.

~b.

Update: Question.

2011-03-14T09:00:00.001-05:00

In regards to my mom's new ghetto cell phone:

My dad told her. Dang.

In his defense, he did wait a few days because he found it amusing.

Food for thought

2011-03-13T10:00:00.001-05:00

I'm so proud of myself. I've been getting up and having bagels, fresh fruit, turkey bacon, or oatmeal for breakfast. I've been making lunch and taking it to work, and at the very least, taking lean cuisines when I don't want to make a sandwich (surprisingly, they aren't bad- and they were 2.00 each @ the grocery store). For dinner, I've been making a variety of things including turkey burgers, shrimp and grits, chili, baked chicken or fish and rice.
All this, and I haven't even gone grocery shopping for this stuff!

This just goes to show that I have not been taking advantage of all the food in my home that I shop for. Instead, I'm always in a rush, grabbing food on the go, and letting the food I already paid for spoil. I wasn't making fresh meals nearly enough. Not anymore. I'm enjoying making all these meals. We'll see how long I can do this :)
~b.

Question.

2011-03-12T16:11:00.000-06:00

I hate that I love laughing at my mom so much, but here we go again.

I called her cell phone today, and instead of a regular "ring ring" while I wait for her to pick up. I get this old B96 techno mix playing some mess about "I want you, let's have a gooooood time."

I KNOW she didn't set it up to play songs. I also know that she has no idea that it's doing that. It took everything in me not to start laughing when she picked up finally.

Question of the day: should I tell Mom that she's using a 14 year old girl's phone? Should I go over and fix the phone? Or should I let everyone get a laugh in for the next 2 weeks? Who knows, maybe next week it will play some T-Pain...

~b

Bye for now...

2011-03-09T16:28:00.000-06:00

Cursing, coke, and ordering out for lunch.

See you in 46 days!

Brave

2011-02-21T11:55:00.000-06:00

Last night, I cut my locks off after nearly 8 years. And now, I feel like I can do anything.

(E)bookworm

2011-02-16T08:54:00.000-06:00

As you know by now, I LOVE to read. I am always maxed out in my library hold queue, my digital books are at a maximum, and my books-to-read list on my laptop has gotten so long that I don't think I will be able to finish them in a lifetime. (Sidenote-is it wrong that my saddest thought about dying is that I'll really miss reading?)

Anyway, so I am not big on book buying. They take up space and waste trees. Also, I feel like some sort of do-gooder when I use the public library. I want it to be around forever and people have to use it in order for that to happen. I only buy my favorites, like the Harry Potter series and Matilda. And old school Booker T and DuBois. But every book? Nah.

So I ended up purchasing an e-reader for my birthday. I ended up getting the Nook, which I love. I won't go into a product review, or why I didn't get a Kindle, but I love my Nookie so much (yes, I named it). I was worried that I wouldn't like it because I can't turn the pages, but it is so convenient. It's in my purse all the time and I am always whipping it out. I actually don't know what took me so long to get one.

And of course, while I still love reading actual books, and will definitely never stop going to the library, I have become a sort of (e)bookworm. I guess that's pretty cool.

I Wish I Had a Photo as Proof.

2011-02-15T17:47:00.000-06:00

I saw two disturbing large, beautifully colored, laminated, expensive (you get it) signs at a charter school I was assigned to:

"Register to vote! Lets your voice's be heard!"

and if that wasn't bad enough-

A picture of a woman and her name. Underneath, it read, "Founder of the Accademy of Scholastic Achievement"

What the hell, people??? You're taking your children from neighborhood schools for this foolishness?

DEAD.

This time, I'm ready.

2011-02-12T20:15:00.000-06:00

So the one of you that reads me blog (tee hee) may or may not know that once again I am attempting to chop my locks off completely. This summer was an absolute FAIL, complete with crying in front of way too many people when 3 little locks hit the floor.
This time, I'm ready. (Probably)

This time around, I realized that I need to cut them myself. I can't explain it; but I started them and I need to finish them if that makes any sense. I've never been comfortable with others in my locks.
This time around, I can't ask for your opinion about if I should do it. It's 100% my decision as to if and when I will go through with it. I do appreciate positivity from my girlfriends, however :)
This time around, I won't listen to the following negative comments: "B, if you cut your locks I will cry!," or "NOOOOO B, don't cut your hair, I can't handle it!" Please shut up with the dramatics. Thank you.
This time around, I need to be comfortable and do this in my own time.

So far it's been 10 weeks since I relocked the new growth. It's getting pretty tangled in here. While I'm trying to hold out for a little more length, I'm honestly not sure how much more I can take. We'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

~b.

Early Morning Secret

2011-02-07T05:55:00.000-06:00

Somehow, here it is at 5:50 am on a Monday morning. I have already showered, steamed my outfit for the day, and all. Why I'm up so early is a mystery, but to be honest, I don't see a reason to go back to bed until 7:00 am. I feel like I'm in on some early morning secret that no one else really knows about.
Maybe I should start waking up early every day. It feels good to have options; should I make breakfast, watch the news, blog, read a book, go grocery shopping BEFORE work? I think I kind of love this.

We'll see what happens tomorrow. Good morning! :)
~b.

2003 just called.

2011-02-01T17:11:00.001-06:00

Let me start off by saying that my mom does not drink. She's the type of lady that would put sugar in her wine because she wants it sweeter.
That being said- we are nothing alike. Because me? Yeah, I drink.

So I celebrated my 29th a little over a week ago. My mother, being the nice older woman that she is, thinks to herself, "B drinks. I am going to buy her a nice bottle of something so that she can have a birthday drink with her friends." She goes into the store, and decides to buy the prettiest bottle she sees.

You already know.

When your 60-something mother gives you a bottle of Hypnotiq for your birthday, one is unsure of exactly what to say. I haven't tortured myself with this stuff since 2003. I can only think of how awkward it must have been when she was in the checkout line. Kams and I came up with a checklist that the cashier should have asked:

Ma'am, is this bottle of Hypno for you?
No. Ok, who is it for?
Your daughter. Is she on public assistance?
No. Ok, does she have 3 kids and 2 colors dyed into her hair?
No. Ok, does she have a tattoo of a bouncing piece of fruit on her thigh, or a man's name (boyfriend, son or otherwise)?
No. Okay. Put that down and let's get her something more appropriate.

I could go on.

Had this conversation occurred, I would not be chilling a bottle of Hypnotiq right now. (What, I can't waste liquor. I mean, liqueur.) In the meantime, if you see Mom, let her know what year it is.

Snow Day!

2011-02-01T15:57:00.000-06:00

My city has not had one of these since I was in high school, and I am damn near 30. I am soooo super excited, since I work for the Board of Education. So here is what I will be doing tomorrow for my snow day:

Getting a mani-pedi
Going to brunch
Having a drink with friends downtown, with pizza

Okay, I'm kidding. What I'll really be doing is sitting my butt in the house, watching crap onDemand. I will do my own nails, make myself something to eat, and possibly fix a drink out of boredom. I will also nap. Twice. Either way, it's a SNOW DAY and I am excited!

Take that, Spiderlgs! My city gets days off too!

~b

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

2011-01-30T22:29:00.000-06:00

It's my new nice way of saying "what the f--k."
I don't care that's it's old. I like it and I'm using it.

TWENTY-NINE

2011-01-20T09:34:00.001-06:00

I feel good today. Happy Birthday to me!

A Few Things I've Learned This Week

2011-01-06T21:29:00.000-06:00

When I feel down about my life, I cam just think of the 40 year old lady at work that lives with her mom. And shares a room with her 8 year old daughter.
A 5 year plan is longer than I expected.
My cat Coco likes hummus. Go figure.
I am never going to be satisfied with my hair. No woman ever is.
Nyquil is never a good substitution for Dayquil, no matter how stuffy you are. Especially on a work day.
No matter how many times I plan to work out, I realize that it's never going to happen. And that's okay.

2011

2011-01-01T11:53:00.000-06:00

Wow, and it all happened so fast.

Moved, dated a few losers, missed out on a few winners, had waaaay too much fun with my besties, got my tonsils out, got the car towed, decided on a career change, kicked "Usher" out of my house, got through customs over the liquor limit-thrice!, finally made it to atl, painted my place twice, bought furniture, paid the car off, had a bit too much to drink a few times, danced at the club with 21 year olds, saw Maroon5, played bridesmaid, went to Los Fegas, signed a friend contract- and lived to tell about it.

So NYE was pretty uneventful. I've been sick and without my voice going on 6 days now, so staying in was the best option. My besties went on without me, but I was there in some sort of germy, toilet tissue in my purse toting spirit. I imagine that we had the greatest time.

But I am excited about 2011. I am not expecting anything in particular; I've done that in the past and the pressure is just too much to handle. I do see a lot of calm, peace and quiet this year, and that's all I can ask for.

I had the craziest dream a few nights ago. In my dream, I buried a couple of people underground. I mean, I literally dug a deep hole in some dark grassy area and dumped their bodies in it. But the people were different people in my life that I needed to get away from. One was a guy from earlier this year; someone else was just someone I consider to be a really nasty person to me. I woke up smiling, because if that isn't symbolic for the new year I don't know what is! I'll do my absolute best to never think of them again.

Speaking of leaving things behind, I'm making a decision to let go of a few other people, a bit more consciously. I've actually been feeling pretty down lately because besides a small amount of people, I've come to realize that my "friends" really aren't. Let me explain.

When it comes to keeping up with people, I have always prided myself on reaching out. I think I get it from my mother, who made sure that I sent a birthday card or called my friends on holidays, when I was about 5. I find myself still being the one who stays in contact with everyone. I'm over it. To be honest, it really does hurt my feelings that there are people that I call to check on them, and they never do the same for me. People that I've called my friends over the years that I always show support to, and they don't even acknowledge the fact that they miss my birthday party, or anything else I decide to do. I've realized that there are some of my friends that if I don't call them- we don't talk. They don't email me, text me, anything. I know that people are busy, but if you can sweat that dude that you just met, you can check in on someone you've known over ten years. I'm tired of reaching out to people and investing in relationships that don't go both ways. So, I have to let that go. Not in a "I'm mad at you" sort of way, but just taking a step back and not taking it so personally, because it's not worth feeling dejected.

Oh yeah, and I have a friend that for various reasons I haven't talked to in about 3 years. We talked the other day for about 4 hours, and I must say that it felt really good. I don't know if we'll ever be close again, but it's nice to know she is doing better.

On a brighter note, I am going back to school! It's time for a new career. I'm not ready to go into extreme deets about it (nosey co-workers perhaps LOL), but let's just say I am on a 4 year plan to get the heck out of where I am! Wish me luck on that. I'll need it.

I haven't come up with any new years resolutions. I don't know, I just don't really know if there is anything that I need to change that much. I guess I could start taking advantage of the gym in my building, that is about 45 seconds away from my front door. And I could limit my pop intake (save for rum and cokes), or not curse as much, go to church more than once a month.... damn-there are actually a lot of things I could stand to work on. I'll have to give all of this more thought.

I am also looking forward to continuing to build my savings, and being thatmuch closer to being debt free. It makes me feel good to not spend money. So, as much as I'd love to meet up for dinner and drinks every other day, I have to limit that to once a week. I'll be spending the other 6 days doing a puzzle, reading a book (I read 19 in 2010!), playing my wii (Yay for the MJ experience!), and cooking dinner at the apartment. Oh, and turning 29 this month.

All in all, it's going to be a fantastic year. All 365 days of it :)
~b

Shopping Ban Update: How I Did It

2010-12-22T07:10:00.000-06:00

Call me crazy, but here are the three main things I did to stop myself from shopping:

I think the high of shopping comes from the thrill of actually picking out the clothes. So, I "shopped online." By that I mean, I browsed my favorite stores, piecing together outfits, and putting them in the shopping bag. As much fun as that was, I was able to close the browser when I got to check out. It gave me the thrill without actually spending cash.
Every time I see something on a fashion blog that I love- I go through my closet and try to see if I have a worthy substitute. Most of the time, I actually do! I'm starting to realize that I don't wear most of the things I already have, and that's not cool.
As soon as I'm paid, I throw ALL of my money into my savings account, leaving approx. $50 in my checking. I only transfer the money over to my checking right before I use it to pay a bill. That way, I don't have the option of spontaneous purchases (well, not one over $50), and that definitely keeps me grounded. Not to mention, I've found myself saving much more per month than I ever did before.

If you have any other things you do to curb your shopping habits and save, let me know.
~b.

Relapse

2010-12-21T08:00:00.028-06:00

I did well. I weaned myself off of reality tv, and then- I relapsed. In my time off work, I have managed to get into:

Basketball Wives (season 1)- I'm late I know, but this foolishness is classic. The entire season is on demand, and apparently I managed to find it and watch it right in time for the premiere of season 2. What's the verdict on Royce? I kinda like her. Gloria not so much.
Football Wives- These chicks are kind of boring, and I would be okay with seeing Dawn walk into the sunset and never return.
The Sing-Off- because as much foolishness I watch, I have to mix in a little bit of actual talent. I liked it! It was like a real life Glee!
Top Chef All Stars- again, I like the talent aspect of the show. And since I'm boycotting PR, why not?
Survivor- Sort of like my obsession with Big Brother a few months back, I am like 35 seasons late and finally giving it a chance. I managed to watch the last half of the season in a day. RHOA- I LOVE Phaedra! She is reality show gold. How could you not love someone so ridiculous? Seriously, if she were my cousin, I would be over her house every weekend just waiting for her to say some dumb ish.
Hoarders- Hoarders, Hoarders, Hoaders. I love their messy, disgusting lives so much. I love that they don't throw out paperwork for medical claims, and that they let their bathrooms get so bad that they have to wear adult diapers. I love that 1800 Got Junk can find 35 live cats in a house and 14 kitten skeletons. I love seeing kids being removed by DCFS. I especially love you, Sir Patrick.

What other shows can I get into before 2011? Jersey Shore, Bad Girls Club, and anything Tyra are not options (remember, I have standards)...

Lazy Break

2010-12-20T23:41:00.000-06:00

I have been on vacation for a week and a half now, and I have to say, I love not working. Sometimes, I feel like such a bum. It feels so good not to have anything to do all day. So far, I have:

Spent a day sleeping
Hung out with my parents
Hung out downtown with my cousin
Gone to costco TWICE
Had a tv overdose
Cooked full meals
Ate too many mozzarella sticks to count
Watched Sparkle (I know, I know)
Played Super Mario Bros on my wii

So I'm wondering if I can possibly find a way to make this a 365 day/year lifestyle. Maybe I can be a kept woman...

Shiny and New

2010-11-30T18:33:00.000-06:00

I'm hungry. Starving actually. But-

I just had my teeth cleaned, and now I don't want to eat. I feel like my mouth is so shiny and new, I don't want to ruin it. Am I the only one who does that? (I know I'm not the only one who superbrushes the day of checkups in a feeble attempt to fool the dentist...)

~b.

Shopping Ban: Update

2010-11-16T19:28:00.000-06:00

I almost failed today!
I had to go to Loyola downtown this afternoon, and I was parked across the street from H&M.
I went in! It's one of my favorite stores and I saw a big sign outside that said "SALE!"
How could I not?...

I saw soooo much new stuff that I really liked. I picked out sizes and colors. I mixed and matched outfits that I could justify wearing to work...

And then, I put everything right back where I found it. It was difficult, but I have to keep my eye on the goal. And when I walked out the store, I felt better.

This is really difficult for me. I need to figure out the madness behind my shopping, and what exactly I am compensating for when I spend my money on clothes. In the meantime, keep the well wishes coming.
~b.

Shopping Ban

2010-11-14T09:38:00.000-06:00

In yet another effort to save money and pay my credit cards off, I have banned shopping for clothes.
(Yes, I know that I have blogged about my zero balance before; I seem to do this once a year. Don't judge me; every so often I make a big purchase. At least I'm no longer using my card for little things that I don't pay off.)

So far, I have not purchased any clothes since OCTOBER 10th! For me, that is a very big deal! Well, I did buy a pair of winter boots, but I actually need them for when the snow gets here, and I used $30 worth of coupons to get them so that does not count. What matters is that I have not been shopping frivolously for over a month. I haven't even bought clothes for work- which I really don't think should count in this ban, since it's going towards my career... but even still, I haven't purchased those either!

I'm so proud of me. I'll keep you posted on whether or not I can make it until December.
~b.

Health Information

2010-11-09T08:00:00.002-06:00

Be informed.

Please pray for my family.
(RIP Baby Benjamin.
~Auntie B.)

Overview
Uterine fibroids are noncancerous (benign) tumors that develop in the uterus (womb), a female reproductive organ.

Uterine fibroids are the most common pelvic tumor. As many as 1 in 5 women may have fibroids during their childbearing years (the time after starting menstruation for the first time and before menopause).
Fibroids usually affect women over age 30. They are rare in women under 20, and often shrink and cause no symptoms in women who have gone through menopause. They are more common in African Americans than Caucasians.
The cause of uterine fibroid tumors is unknown. However, fibroid growth seems to depend on the hormone estrogen. As long as a woman with fibroids is menstruating, a fibroid will probably continue to grow, usually slowly.
Fibroids can be so tiny that you need a microscope to see them. However, they can grow very large. They may fill the entire uterus, and may weigh several pounds. Although it is possible for just one fibroid to develop, usually there are more than one.

Symptoms

More common symptoms of uterine fibroids are:

Abdominal fullness, gas, or constipation
Bleeding between periods
Increase in urinary frequency
Heavy menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia), sometimes with the passage of blood clots
Menstrual periods that may last longer than normal
Pelvic cramping or pain with periods
Sensation of fullness or pressure in lower abdomen
Pain during intercourse

Note: There are often no symptoms.

Complications

Fibroids may cause pregnancy complications, although the risk is thought to be small:

Most women are able to carry their babies to term, but some end up delivering prematurely because there is not enough room in the uterus.
Some pregnant women with fibroids may need a cesarean section because fibroids can occasionally block the birth canal or cause the baby to be positioned wrong.
Some pregnant women with fibroids have heavy bleeding immediately after giving birth.

Other complications of fibroids include:

Severe pain or excessively heavy bleeding that may require emergency surgery
A pedunculated fibroid can become twisted and cause a kink in the blood vessels feeding the tumor (this type of fibroid may need surgery)
Anemia (which may be severe if the bleeding is very heavy)
Urinary tract infections, if pressure from the fibroid prevents the bladder from fully emptying
Cancerous changes called leiomyosarcoma (in rare cases)
Infertility (rarely)

Contact a Doctor

Call your health care provider if:

You have gradual changes in your menstrual pattern, including a heavier flow, increased cramping, or bleeding between periods
Fullness or heaviness develops in your lower abdomen

A Conversation

2010-11-08T21:00:00.000-06:00

Monday night I watched "A Conversation with George W. Bush," where Matt Lauer interviewed him about his book Decision Points. I have to say, it was intriguing.

I'll be the first to say that I have always felt some kinda negative way about W. It started with me going to bed that night in my dorm room, 18 years old, my first time voting, with Gore as our President. When I woke up, Bush was instead. My faith in voting was shot to hell in a matter of hours.

I also have had my issues with the Iraqi war, detainees in Guantanamo Bay, and Hurricane Katrina just to name a few. I think that I may have even said I hated him, and I know I laughed when he took a shoe to the head.

But as the years have gone on, I've had time to reflect on those feelings. Just as I go through life trying to see the best in people- I had no business hating him. He is not a horrible person, but perhaps he is just a man that has made some horrible executive decisions. I felt better watching this show, because I realized that he knows that he messed up in a lot of ways. Honestly, I can't say that I would make the best decisions if I were in his position. Similarly, Obama isn't always going to make the best choices. But I regret being so hateful towards a person, no matter what decisions were made that I didn't completely agree with. He's just another human being, with a job, feelings, and a background that has shaped him. We all are. I'll probably never agree with the decisions he made, but I need to get those feelings in check.

I can also admit that I need to stop jumping on the political bandwagon and saying that I am for or against something/one without knowing all the facts for myself. True, many of his policies I didn't agree with, but I initially made those decisions based off of what mainstream media put out there, mere bulletpoints that didn't tell the entire story. I can't be mad at the ignoramuses that did that during the health care campaign, when so many times I have been guilty of doing the same. I think everyone could stand to do a better job at coming to their own decisions initially.

Okay. I'm rambling. I guess what I'm trying to say is- I need to build on my tolerance.

That being said, I still can't tolerate Palin.

Tricks

2010-11-01T10:21:00.000-05:00

So I am lucky enough to live in an apartment building that is 20% people in their late 20s and 80% people over the age of 65 that have lived there for like 30 years. Cool. That means zero trick or treaters, yippee. (Not that it would have mattered, seeing as how I went out three nights strong and wasn't even home. I digress.)

My mom? Not so lucky.
These ignorant kids/teens/babies and teen parents need to get it together! They rang her doorbell literally ALL day long. The first trick or treater, sans costume, came asking for candy at 9:20 am. On a Sunday morning!
The last one came at 10 pm. To say that Mom was pissed is an understatement. Teenagers wearing masks ringing the doorbell, then resorting to banging on the window is NOT OKAY. Nor is it safe. Why would they expect an older woman to answer her door to what look like adults in masks at 10:00 at night? Where are their parents, and why are they allowed out that darn late? Then, when Mom shouted through the door, "It's ten o'clock- are you nuts? Get off my porch!" they cursed at her.

Sometimes I can't stand Halloween.

S.M.H.

2010-10-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

Highlights from the school's Halloween parade (pre-k - 4th)

A 2nd grader in a genie costume, complete with false eyelashes, a face full of makeup, and a bare midriff
A 4th grader wearing a short skirt and a blond wig. I asked if she was Hannah Montana. Her reply? "No, I'm a hooker." I KID YOU NOT.
A 5 year old dressed as Al Capone winning the entire contest

Shaking. My. Head.

I Hate to Love: Project Runway

2010-10-29T00:11:00.000-05:00

Since I gave up most of my foolish shows this season I committed myself to Project Runway as it aired. I've always been a fan, but decided I wouldn't watch them onDemand or as a weekend marathon, and dove in headfirst every Thursday.
Big mistake.

First of all: 90 minutes? Why am I getting an extra half hour of a sewing competition? Are they going to make more than one outfit each week? Will there be some sort of quickfire-esqe pre-competition? Will they make clothes upside down while blindfolded? Sadly, no. There will just be more time for designers to give their two cents. By designers, I mean Gretchen.

Secondly: There was WAY too much biatchyness happening this season. Accusations of cheating, not congratulating winners, straight bullying- and just too much damn whining. I'm trying to get away from the drama, and this show isn't letting me.

My third gripe (which is really my first one since I've had it all season): All things Ivy. Had she spent more time making better clothes and less time boasting about going to Parsons, gathering folks to hate Michael C., and just being an overall biatch, she wouldn't have been eliminated. AND- it wasn't addressed at the reunion, wtf?
For the record, I watched her take a needle to the eye no less than 4 times.

Fourth: I hate how they did Michael C. all season long. I'm not saying he was the best, but I felt like the judges/producers set him up for the worst type of failure. Sad as it was, I probably would have acted the same way he did at that bogus elimination.

Lastly: Gretchen winning. GTFOHWTBS. Mondo clearly should have taken it.

Goodbye PR. I am more than likely, probably, officially done with you forever.
...
...
...until next season.

All In a Day's Work Awesomeness!

2010-10-27T18:19:00.000-05:00

And this is why I don't have a dog.

Costume Contemplations

2010-10-24T08:55:00.000-05:00

This halloween thing gets annoying because finding a good outfit is difficult. Everything about the outfits I have considered say SO MUCH about my persona. Top contenders include:

Apollonia: Yes, her. I love her. She brings out my inner skank and I am okay with that. But I just can't bring myself to walk out the door wearing nothing but purple lingerie, stilettos- and a cape.

The Mad Hatter: Brings out my inner crazy. Y'all know I'm not all there sometimes. Then I found out that a lot of people are doing him, and I don't want to look like everyone else.

One of the characters from The Wiz: Not the Wizard of Oz, the Wiz. What can I say, it is a mixture of my faves- old school, black culture, and black Michael Jackson. My problem with this is that I can't figure out how to make it sexy (see-inner skank).

So I'm going to a party store later on today. I hope I find what I'm looking for. I'll keep you posted.

Name Calling

2010-10-23T10:05:00.001-05:00

My oldest sister's name is Janon. Her friend teases her because of her name.

Her friend's name: Gidget.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058806/

Elevator Awkwardness

2010-10-20T23:19:00.001-05:00

So I was wearing this in gray:

And these (fancy fancy, Target 9.99):

And these:

Oh, and let me mention that I haven't retwisted my hair. I'm in rasta mode.

Whatev. I was home, and needed to run downstairs to get the mail. It was 9 pm.

I clearly was not looking to meet anyone, and I know I looked a mess. So right before the door closed to go up this guy gets on the elevator and this is what happened.

Him: Hey. Long day on campus?

Me: No.

Him: So you go to Loyola?

Me: Nah.

Hin: So you pretending to go to Loyola?

Me: No. ..... But I went to grad school there awhile back.

Him: Oh. You look young.

Me: Yeeeah.

Him: I like your pants. You still in school?

Me: No.

Him: You look good in them pants, I mean, you look real nice tonight. For real.

Me: (blank stare) Have a good night.

THIS is why I hit the close door button frantically as soon as I get on the elevator. Geez. He got off on 4. Imagine had he rode up to 12 with me!

~b.

Color Change

2010-10-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

So I woke up yesterday and decided that I didn't like the color of my apartment. I went to Home Depot and bought new paint, and spent the day today repainting my place. As Cousin said, "somebody's manic."
I have no idea why I am so sporadic like this. I always think I want something one way, and then change my mind almost immediately. It's not that I am not trusting my first instinct, it's just that I keep changing what I want. Is this problematic?
~b.

Awareness! Argument? Awesome!?

2010-10-04T11:23:00.000-05:00

Here's an article that is appropriate for breast cancer awareness month, that will also spark a fantastic discussion for you and your man. He can thank me later.

Happy Reading!!!!

100

2010-09-29T21:36:00.001-05:00

Hey- I just had 100 posts this year.

I clearly need something else to do with my life.

Napless

2010-09-29T21:34:00.000-05:00

It seems as though whenever I am on vacation, people call me all day long and are surprised that I don't want to sit around and talk to them because they are bored. As if me not having to go to work equals me not having a life.
Today, I actually just wanted to nap. All day. It's my vacation, and I can sleep it away if I damn well please. No joke, from 10-2:30 my phone rang no less than every 15 minutes. Mainly my dad calling every hour to see if I was up yet, "you shouldn't sleep on your off day," and my sisters to ask random questions. I was pissed. My phone never rings that much. I go weeks without talking to some of my immediate family, but the week of vacation these heifers all of a sudden want to check in. Why???
Can I breathe? Or at least nap?

And why the hell shouldn't I sleep on my off day? Leave me alone.

Snooper

2010-09-28T08:48:00.000-05:00

I was having a conversation with a friend about snooping. While I have never had the desire, energy, or time to snoop through someone's things, I have been a victim of it in my adult life, and apparently so have a few of my friends.
I guess I've come to a few conclusions about all of this.
1. Men snoop just as much as women. In all the examples that our conversations had, it was a guy going through his girlfriend's things. Her cell phone, facebook, journal, emails, panty drawer. Ok, I put that last one in there for a laugh, but had the conversation gone long enough I'm sure it would have come up.
2. There are a lot of relationships out there that have zero trust. Why are you dating someone that you don't trust? As far as I'm concerned, the relationship is done once you start speculating. Once you bring me to Maury to take a lie detector test, no matter what the results are- it's over.
On the brighter side,
3. You don't have to live in fear of violation. Just because one person did it to you doesn't mean that everyone is like that. Move on! Don't go through the rest of your relationships taking your phone everywhere you go, locking it, changing your passwords every 2 weeks. Everyone you date isn't crazy.
That's something to look forward to :)

Children Assaulted in Psychiatric Hospitals

2010-09-23T08:00:00.032-05:00

Click here for the full story.

Yesterday, the Trib released a story reporting that kids have been sexually assaulted in Chicago's most frequented mental health facilities. The children ranged from 7-18, and in each of the cases, no one was ever charged with criminal activity.
This hits me personally; I have students that have been or are currently admitted into these government-funded institutions. I know all too well how mental health in the black community is ignored, and when realized, many of us cannot afford top-notch health care, opting to put our elders and children into facilities with sliding scales.
Many times, these hospitals are filled with staff that are overworked, underpaid, non-qualified, burned out clinicians and support staff. These hospitals, originally founded for good purpose, have become a laughing stock. Halls and private areas are not always monitored, patients are not accounted for. It's a scary place to be.
As a social worker, I find it increasingly difficult to refer families to these hospitals. On one hand, I see the importance of them- but then, stories like this just make me upset.
I don't even know who is to blame in these situations. What I am sure of, is that someone at some level needs to be held accountable for these occurrences.

Awesome!

2010-09-22T15:52:00.002-05:00

Happy Wednesday.

I can't talk to you.

2010-09-20T17:50:00.000-05:00

My phone is jacked. It looks better than this one, but I'm sure they function at about the same level.
It started with the screen freezing every 10 minutes. Then the phone started resetting on its own. Later, the speaker followed by the vibrate stopped working, so the only way I didn't miss a call was if I was directly looking at the screen. Oh, and the alarm clock didn't work either.
Today, my trackball came out.

To make a donation to the "Get b.goody a new blackberry fund," please send money orders directly to her.

Thank you in advance.

Work in Progress

2010-09-12T17:40:00.001-05:00

I'm not one to usually write about topics like this, but here goes:
So I just bought a new bible. It's a parallel with NIV on one side and the Message on the other. I'm excited about it, because I'll be the first to admit that sometimes, the bible really bores me. To tears. I read it occasionally, but not as much as I think I should be. I'm enjoying how I can get a version that I trust on one side of the page, and the Message breaks it down for me on the other.
Now, if I could actually get to church EVERY Sunday, I'd be all set :)
What can I say- I'm a work in progress. But aren't we all?
~b.

it happens

2010-09-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

Labor day weekend was just as it always is:
I professed that I was going to stay in all weekend curled up with a book. I ended up spending money, drinking, and going to bbqs. I then profess how much fun I had and how great it is that I didn't stay in.
It happens every year.

Apparently what also happens every year is that I become older and slightly lamer. My besties and I spent about 15 minutes calling the teenagers over to our table and making them show us the latest dances.

When did we become those women? Can we return to the bright side? And what is the timeline for making kids dance to orchestrating card parties?

~b.

Stop Singing. Now.

2010-09-09T07:32:00.000-05:00

Why do all the commercials on radio stations with black audiences always have to be jingles?
I don't need girls double dutching to buy lunch meat. And I don't need the entire church choir to vote you in to congress.
~b.

Commonality

2010-09-02T15:37:00.001-05:00

I love my parents, but it's safe to say that we don't have much in common.
So I was at Dad's house earlier this week, just hanging out. I'm lying on the couch and he asks to see the book that was hanging out my purse. I tell him about it and he looks interested. (Sidenote: I'm a bookaholic). We start to talk about the books I like to read. I don't really think that much else about it.

What happened next was amazing. Dad then starts going in his closet, pulling out book after book after book. He has books I've read, want to read, new releases, library books, everything.
My dad reads books as much as I do! We even started to plan books that we could read at the same time and discuss them. He gave me 3 books to take home to read.

I don't know why I never knew this. My father always made sure that I was a reader from an early age, but I don't remember him ever picking up a book himself. Maybe this is something he picked up after I went away to college. All I know is that it made me feel thismuch closer to my dad.

What else don't I know about my parents?

~b.

Iced caramel macchiato, please.

2010-08-16T20:42:00.003-05:00

Today I went shopping downtown. I have a dress for an event this weekend, and wanted to find a pair of shoes. Also, I had a dress that I wanted to return, so I took care of that too. Didn't find what I was looking for, and ended up buying bath bombs at Lush, but that's not really relevant to the story...hmm, actually, it's not relevant at all.
Anyhoo, I get back to my car, feeling somewhat frustrated that I didn't find what I was looking for, and I realize that I have ten minutes left on my meter. I see a Starbucks at the end of the block, across the street. It's 5 pm, and I can get there and back in time.
So I'm crossing the intersection; it's a 3-way stop. The sidewalk is crowded. People are sitting outside the coffee shop. The street is packed. You know the kind where you gotta cross fast because folks will try to drive while you're in the street.
Well, but I have my cute dress and sandals on, so I can't go that fast. But I'm moving along nonetheless. I get across the street and step right onto a grate on the sidewalk.
My dress flies up all over.
My hands aren't free for me to catch it.
A car honks at me like 4 times.
People look up, I am shrieking, while still on the grate.
I am assed out. Literally.
At least I had on cute undies.
~b.

Famous Last Words

2010-08-12T18:28:00.001-05:00

Me to Cousin:

"Nothing bad could ever come of this..."

We'll see what happens.
~b.

I DO live alone, after all

2010-08-12T08:00:00.007-05:00

Too bad I live alone (Coco C. doesn't count. Meowzers.) Otherwise, I wouldn't have to tell the 3 of you all about my domestic talents. Last night, I learned 3 different ways to fold napkins. My table looks the best. When I eat dinner tonight, I'll be so proud. Oh, and it will be dinner I made. Yay.
On the other hand, I have like 3 loads of laundry to do, and they are spread out all over the house. As is all my jewelry over my desk, and my makeup bag is strewn all over and in the sink in the guest bathroom. Hmm, maybe it's a good thing I DO live alone after all. I'm acting like a total slob.
~b.

Laugh Your *SS Off

2010-08-11T15:41:00.001-05:00

Ok, so Dance Your Ass Off is funny for so many reasons. For those who don't know, it's The Biggest Loser meets Dancing With The Stars. Minus the stars.

So you have these random judges, one who wants to be sexy soooo bad, but is really just obnoxious.
Then you have the contestants. People who are so overweight that in the beginning of the season, they can't do anything but sweat on stage, and they progressively get better. By the end of the season, they can do a 30 second routine that is comical at best. With a plie or two.
Add in terrible costumes (because really, 290 lbs in a short glittery spandex dress isn't okay, no matter what), and the music! Apparently they are too cheap to get permission to use songs, so they get instrumentals and some lady sings all the songs herself- NERD, Chingy, Alicia Keys, Missy... Trick Daddy and Trina?
Oh, and Mel B is the host.

Anyways, get OnDemand and watch it before it's gone!

~b.

Showmance

2010-08-08T19:26:00.002-05:00

Do you watch Big Brother? I hate this whole Brandon and Rachel thing. Oh, you don't watch it? Doesn't matter, because what annoys me is all over every reality tv show you've seen.

Showmances. I hate them!

First of all, how do you enter into a competition, and fall for someone in the house?
Second, how do you call it "love" after 12 days? Or 3, whichever.
Third, you let the person you're having sex with (on camera nonetheless) have you so twisted up that you are saying things like, "if I'm up against him/her, I'm not going to fight."
Fourth, you know your man is at home watching this ish live, right? You know he moved out while you were gone, right?
Lastly- SHOWMANCE? What a terrible word!

There's no way in hell I'd go on a reality show and fall for someone. Get on your A game.

No wait- maybe it's a good idea. Look at all The Biggest Loser couples that have gotten married. Maybe I can gain 390 lbs, go on there, lose wait with a big boy, and marry him. That sounds joyous!

~b.

For the record, I also hate Bromances. And Sismances, whenever they decide to coin that word.

I got this.

2010-08-07T00:41:00.000-05:00

Four years in the game, and I've finally figured it out.
The school year is about to begin, and I don't feel nervous. I don't feel scared, or the least bit doubtful.
I got this. I know what I'm doing.

I feel so relieved to finally be comfortable in my job. I'm looking forward to getting better each year.

How long did it take you to become competent at work? (Hint: If you always felt competent, you still don't know what the hell you're doing.)

~b.

Gone Too Soon

2010-08-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

Rest in peace, baby Benjamin...
~Auntie B

Paint Job: Check

2010-07-29T18:39:00.000-05:00

I've spent the last week painting my apartment. It definitely was not as easy as I thought it was be. But it's done! And I love it.
Of course, I need to do a few touchups, but I'll take care of that in the next few days. Another trip to home depot, another dollar.
I must really love this place. It's the first time I've ever painted an apartment. Not to mention it gives off a great energy now that the walls aren't white anymore.

I can't wait to start buying decor for my spot! If you know of any places where I can get cool stuff for cheap, let me know.

~b.

The Little Things

2010-07-24T09:00:00.001-05:00

This morning I was able to eat a bowl of cap'n crunch. It was the first time since my tonsillectomy that cereal didn't feel like shards of glass.

It's the little things you have to be thankful for :)

OMGarosa!

2010-07-23T09:30:00.003-05:00

So I cam across a show on TVOne called Ultimate Merger... Men are on a reality show trying to win Omarosa's heart.
Laugh.
Out.
Loud.

Here are the highlights:
-Al B Sure! is a contestant. Yes. I can tell you how I feel about you nite and day. Oh, and I'm sure that the fact that his new album is coming out this month is a complete coincidence. Although, they used to date awhile back. Take a walk down memory lane here.
-Omarosa referring to herself as Lady O.
-The men don't even pretend to like her. One guy says, "I'm reevaluating if I even want to get to know you." HA!
-The men get caught sneaking out to see other women.
-Men eliminating themselves. Tee hee.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to pour a glass and watch.

~b.

Finding Streak

2010-07-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

I'm one of those people that pride myself on never losing anything. Even though at times, my apartment has been in organized confusion, I know where everything is. For instance, my spa gift card. At the old place it was on the desk in the junk room, under the file folder next to the piggy bank that was on top of the printer. Trust me. I can find anything.

Until I lost my library book.

What the hell? I take out library books all the time. I always have a book in my bag, and I read so much that the book is never too far from my sight. Yet, it's been 4 weeks and the book is nowhere to be found. I've unpacked every box, checked the car, suitcases, drawers, everything. Still, no book.

My finding streak is over.

So today, I had to swallow my pride, and go to the library to pay for the book. I was actually kinda scared, LOL. As if I was going to be on some terrible library probation, or never allowed to take a book out again.

But, all I had to do was pay $13.00 for the book, and all was forgiven. I even took out another book today.

I still want to find that book though...

~b.

Sidebar

2010-07-18T12:31:00.000-05:00

When I read Tea's blog post it made me think:

Having too many sentimental items in your house is a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you're on Hoarders and Kam and I are sitting on the phone, talking about how disgusting your house it. Ick.
~b.

b.goody's TV Train Wreck

2010-07-14T14:07:00.000-05:00

I have been home during the days, and as we all know, nothing is actually on TV. So I've taken to watching series on demand.
So far:
Brandy and Ray-J: FAIL
Top Chef Washington: Loving It
Family Feud: Indifferent
Snapped: Yay!
Dance Your A** Off: What? Why is this even on television?
Bridezillas: aka How Do these Hoes Snag Men?

Sometimes I wonder why I do these things to myself. Unfortunately, I just can't stop. Glutton for punishment, perhaps?

~b.

You're Welcome! Now What?

2010-07-07T09:20:00.001-05:00

I received a thank you card at my second job yesterday. Apparently, a customer thought I was so helpful and friendly to her, that she later came back and brought a card thanking me for being so nice.

Aww. That made me feel good. I work a crappy job and it was one of those things that made me feel better on my first day back. As some of you know, I contemplate quitting on a weekly basis.

But now what? What the heck do I do with a thank you card from a total stranger? Send her a thank you card that says, "thank you for saying thank you?"

Put it on my fridge? Frame it? Sleep with it under my pillow? Because while I appreciate the sentiment, I would like to chuck it in the trash because it's now just taking up space in my purse/soon to be on my kitchen table and that's annoying.

What does anyone do with a thank you card-no matter who it's from? Silly question, I know- but really? What is there to do except toss it?

~b

A delicious slice of [humble] pie

2010-07-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

This weekend in Chicago was ... crowded. People out all over the place, some good, some bad. Anyway, M and I hung out for a bit, and ended up trying to find parking at my house around 1am. Mind you, I live right off the lake, folks were out, and parking was limited.

After about 10 minutes of driving around, we eventually settled on a parking space on Stony. The radio is blasting and we are singing Prince at the top of our lungs. As I'm parking, he says, "turn down your radio before it gets snatched. Look at those vagrants." Ok I know, it sounds terrible, and it was sort of a joke but sort of not, but there were these two homely looking guys sitting on the park bench right in front of me. Did I mention they were drinking 40s out of paper bags and looked a little rough around the edges? So I put my 39.99 i-pod cord in the arm rest uber fast, lest I be robbed, right?

We get out the car and give the obligatory "hello" to people you see on the street in the middle of the night. You know, the "I see you so don't start no ish" greeting. Sure enough, we hear the most wonderful old school music coming out of the speakers.
Of the car.
With the windows down.
Right in front of us.
That apparently belonged to the "vagrants."
And was a gleaming white, Lexus LS, complete with a navigation system and all the bells and whistles.

Meanwhile, I'm worried about my Corolla. And egg on my face. Well deserved.
~b

Dear Summer

2010-07-05T18:03:00.000-05:00

The best part about summer for me is not having to work because school's out. Similarly, the worst part about summer for me is not having to work because school's out.
I love not having to wake up so early in the mornings, yet every morning I am up at 7am watching the news and staring at the museum out the window while I make breakfast. Bored.
I'm happy because I don't have to drive my car to work- saving gas money. Then again, there are so many places I want to go that I am on the bus all the time. Until I think to myself, "get in the car!"
It's exciting that in the summer, I can save money because I'm not out right after work, going to happy hours. But considering I don't do anything all day, I get bored and go out daily to spend money.
Don't get me started on the part time job I picked up in order to have money to do more things such as travel. But, due to the crappy hours they give me, I can't travel.
It's so annoying!!!!

What are you doing this summer? Do you feel my pain?

Whose Day is it Anyway?

2010-07-03T11:03:00.001-05:00

I am personally aware of no less than 5 weddings in the upcoming months. Different cliques, different types of weddings. But what they all have in common are complaining bridesmaids. Specifically, regarding bridesmaids and their dates.

So much for the question of whose day is it anyway.

My general level of nonchalant-ness prevents me from actually caring what other people decide to do for their special day. But the arguments are hilarious, and I thought I'd share an article with you that one friend recently thought would be a good idea to pass along to a bride. To answer your question- yes, she's nuts. Enjoy, and feel free to leave comments below :)

In Defense of +1

For Shame

2010-07-03T10:53:00.000-05:00

I can't stand holiday weekends. Not just because most of the time, I can't actually get down with what's being celebrated, but mainly because folks like to act a damn fool when it's hot and a crowd exists...

The other evening, M and I went to listen to live music in the park downtown. We weren't far from the Taste, and as always, people were there acting up. Three teenagers were stabbed that night, and the bus ride home was horrendous. What is usually a 20 minute commute was easily over an hour. Not only were people trying to pry the doors of our sardine packed bus home so that they could get on (to possibly ride on our shoulders?), they were also trying to break the windows of the bus as it drove away. Really?

And we wonder why we don't have nice things...

It happens every time. Remember the stadium parties that we used to have at school until that fight broke out and folks were trampled?

Ironically, the moment someone takes something away from us because we don't respect it- we cry unfairness, racism, dirty politics, etc. In these cases-shut it.

It's sad that tomorrow morning I'm going to turn on the news and it's very likely that no less than 4 people will have been killed celebrating the holiday weekend.

For shame...

More Yoga

2010-07-01T12:17:00.000-05:00

Being fully aware that things become easier with time, we decided to do more yoga this morning. In fact, we made a deal that we'd do yoga 4x a week for the entire summer.
This morning, it definitely still hurt like hell, but it was a bit easier. I'm looking forward to seeing how far I can really get with this :) I have to admit, it was really relaxing and geared me up for the day. And it was less than 20 minutes- I waste more time lollygagging in the AM before work, so there's no excuse not to do it.

My arms kind of hurt though...

It's Just Yoga

2010-06-30T16:19:00.001-05:00

I started yoga today with my Ship.
Foolish of us to think, "Oh, it's just yoga. Piece of cake."
We selected a 17 minute video. Easy enough.

OMG, that was hard as hell. Not only were we sweating like pigs after 7 minutes, after about 11 she sat down and tears were coming to my eyes.

I'm so out of shape...
We're doing it again tomorrow morning. My place. Feel free to join us.

Reasons

2010-06-28T08:00:00.001-05:00

Reason #32 that Identity Crisis is my bestie:

When I am doped up on Tylenol with codeine, she not only comes over and makes herself at home while I'm passed out on the living room carpet- she also installs programs on my new laptop that I don't yet know how to use before I wake up.

~b.

And they say Chi-city

2010-06-27T19:35:00.000-05:00

This week was a wake up call for me. I re-realized just how much I love my city. I was able to walk to the lake one night from my [NEW!] apartment, and sit on the rocks enjoying the entire skyline. Then, after seeing a hodgepodge of people on the CTA, I went to Navy Pier for the first night of the summer fireworks. When it was all over, we walked down Grand Avenue all the way home.
Seeing the people in their drunkenness, with friends, exhibiting too much PDA, with families, all that- really made me feel good and appreciate the beauty of Chicago. I can't wait to spend time this summer revisiting Sue, the lakefront, small restaurants, or even just sitting outside in Grant Park. It's all so wonderful. And even though I may not live here forever, I love that it's my home.
~b.

I'm back.

2010-06-24T15:28:00.000-05:00

I'm back.
A lot has happened in the last week or so. I moved to a new place that I absolutely love. It has everything I need and I plan on staying here for awhile. Unless of course, Kam talks me into moving to ATL...

I colored my hair. I ended up not cutting it. I hadn't realized how much my hair had become a part of my identity. When it was time to cut them, I just couldn't bear to let them go. But the color is nice :)

I lost a library book. That really is a big deal if you know how much I love the library. I feel so ashamed.

School's out for summer. I don't think I'm going to miss these kids, not even a little bit.

I got my tonsils taken out yesterday. This is perhaps the most painful experience I've had in a long time. Speaking of which, I think it's time for another popsicle. And more pain meds.
~b.

I Changed My Mind

2010-06-18T09:05:00.000-05:00

I thought I could do it. But I couldn't. I didn't cut my hair. I'm not going to cut my hair.

And I am just fine with that :)

~b.

lacks of punctuation...

2010-06-14T20:37:00.001-05:00

So, I'm moving tomorrow and the oh so terrific movers I have do this thing where they come the day before to see how much stuff you have, so they can figure out what size truck to bring, what stuff needs to be taken apart, what doors what stuff goes out of blah blah blah yes I know this is a run on sentence but once I started blabbing I couldn't figure out where to stop the sentence so I figured I'd just own that shit.

Breathe.

So anyways, they were supposed to be here today to check the place out at 3pm but I didn't get a call from them until 5, saying they would be leaving the location they were at soon but they didn't come and then I received another call at 7:26 saying they were on the way and that was an hour ago what the hell man I'm sitting here dirty and stuff from packing and I can't get in the shower until you leave but I have a date and I need to look good for this man when he gets here for dinner!

Now I am annoyed and out of breath because I read this shit aloud while I'm typing it, crazy I know but it's what I do.

The thing is that I really don't want them to come the day before because I have stuff everywhere and even though I can't hide all my junk from my movers, I would at least like to give the impression that I am an organized lady but now that you've said you are coming over- I need you to be here like now.

~b.

Stop by this weekend. For drinks...

2010-06-10T07:23:00.000-05:00

This message is for you. Yes you. You!
I need help packing. I'm sure in the years we've known each other, I have assisted in putting some of your crap in boxes 3 days before you move, even when you have no organized plan. Lucky for me, I've kept some sort of IOU tab in my brain, and I am ready to cash in on it today!
So um, Imma need you to stop by this weekend and give me like 2-4 boxes worth of free labor. I mean love.
Drinks provided. Call me. It's all love.
~b

Changes?

2010-06-09T22:26:00.000-05:00

If you could have a do-over, what, if anything, would you change about your life?

Call me crazy, but I would do this all again, just the same.

~b.

But what about mean boys?

2010-06-07T15:45:00.000-05:00

I have spent countless hours reading about, discussing, and trainings about mean girls. Relational aggression (girl bullying) is real, and girls that intimidate other girls without any consequences grow up to be some of the meanest women I know. Fortunately, most mean girls experience the other side of the taunting, and usually change their ways.
But what about mean boys?
Boys that are disrespectful to women. Boys that talk down to their girl friends, or girlfriends. Mean boys are the ones that purposely hurt others to make themselves seem cool. That are rude and condescending because it's cute. No one ever puts mean boys in their place, or hold them accountable for what they do in life.
What happens to them?
I'll tell you what happens. Mean boys grow up to be mean men. Men who claim to be womanizers. Men that don't have jobs or cars, yet get rides everywhere from women. Men that live at home. Mean men make rude comments about women, and everyone around them laughs about it. Mean men are shady mofos that lie and exaggerate everything. Mean men don't apologize when they hurt feelings, make mistakes, or do something that's just plain foul. Mean men care more about their image than their friendships. Mean men are, in short, assholes.
Why don't more people check the ish out of mean guys? Are we afraid that if we say something, we might be the brunt of their whack joke? Do we think that waiting on them hand and foot (they don't do shit for themselves) means more than losing out on spending time with them? Do we think it's cute to be disrespected?

I don't.
~b.

Happiness

2010-06-05T21:19:00.003-05:00

I am happy to no longer be afraid.
I am happy I grew up.
I am happy I have friends that I really love with all my heart.
I am happy because it's time to move on.
I am happy to be seeing him.
I am happy that second chances exist.
I am happy that you are ready to fall in love again.
I am happy that my sister is having a baby.
I am happy to have seen him take his first steps!
I am happy that you can feel okay about seeing what your ex is up to.
I am happy you are my Ship.
I am happy about cutting my locks out finally.
I am happy that you support me.
I am happy that you scold me.
I am happy that Dad is doing so well.
I am happy to be your sister.
I am happy to have learned so much.
I am happy that it's MY time.

I grow up and they don't

2010-06-04T07:27:00.000-05:00

Over the years, I have come in contact with a lot of immature people. Hell, at one time in my life, I'm sure I was as well. Anyhoo- a variety of things end up happening. I grow up and they don't. I realize that they were not the person I thought they were. They regress. No matter the reason, it becomes clear that we have become inherintly different from each other.

I'm not really sure how to handle it. Of course, there's no need for the "let's not be friends" conversation. However, it is difficult when these people begin contacting you to go out, inviiting you to special events, or wanting to be around you and others in general. I find myself in random gchat convos/phone calls/lunches with people I have nothing in common with anymore. It's like a really bad date. And I have to pay for my own meal? Fail.

I think maybe I'm too nice in this department. I need to work on saying goodbye better.

~b.

Planning vs Doing

2010-05-31T09:33:00.000-05:00

Today is Memorial Day and I don't have to work. I woke up at 4:30 am to catch a flight home. In the car, I planned just what I would do:
-pack
-take crap to goodwill
-clean the house
-do my nails
-spend time with besties

But this is what I am really going to do:
-nothing at all

Why do we spend so much time at work wishing for a day off to get stuff done, and when we have that day, we do nothing?

~b.